Sunday, December 17, 2006

Record: Brad Meltzer

But of course this big phony was going to be listed here sooner or later, as no matter how big or small his standing in the industry is, it would be foolish to leave him out. In practically but a single miniseries, he has managed to establish himself as a most serious offender. His list of offenses include:
  • Making virtually all of the women in Identity Crisis into one-dimensional lemmings, panicky, hysterical, insane, needing to be coddled and calmed, unable to defend themselves from assaults by males, and acting totally out of character in contrast to past storytelling.
  • Depicting Dr. Light out-of-character, and having him violate Sue Dibny in one of the grossest storylines ever, written in the ways of a bad fanfic.
  • Depicting Zatanna being punched in the stomach by Deathstroke, also out-of-character.
  • Depicting Deathstroke attacking Black Canary by…no, forget it. It’s just too sadistic.
  • Even male characters do not emerge unscathed. Flash is stabbed by Deathstroke, who also slices Hawkman’s wings, making him crash implausibly to the ground, and where exactly did Slade Wilson ever get microscopic eye-vision to spot the Atom with? As far as I know, Slade doesn’t have any power like that of Superman. Nor does it make sense that he could possibly nullify Green Lantern’s power ring, considering that it’s a personalized item, and that it responds to whomever’s wearing it on his finger.
  • Wonder Woman is turned into a puppet doing Green Arrow’s bidding (to find out info from Slipknot), which almost makes Oliver Queen seem like a pimp.
  • And was Jean Loring really sexually assaulted as told in the pages of a tabloid paper? That’s surely the most irritating thing of all about the end of the book, the question of if this is true or not, and sadly, it appears that, as told in the context of the book, she was. Most definitely offensive here was that she invited her ex-husband to hit her.
There are quite a few other very degrading details to be found in the book, but for now, I think this should do quite nicely. I urge everyone to do themselves a favor, and not do any for Mr. Meltzer. Don’t buy his books (a writer who’s on the bestseller list of the New York Times doesn’t rate very high in my book, as it is), neither novels nor comics, as he is not one who needs any fame nor fortune.


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